Six Mistakes You’re Probably Making in Your College Essay

By Samantha Segan, College Essay Expert.

I’ve worked with students applying to college for over ten years and read thousands of their essays. I’ve also sat on the other side of the admissions desk reading applications. Over and over, I see well-meaning students struggle with the same problems. Here are the top six:

The essay isn’t personal: So often, I read an essay that begins “When you think of art, you think of a beautiful painting that evokes deep emotion in you…” See the problem? This student hasn’t even been able to say “I” and has, instead, talked in generalities about “you”! Students should take the “I test” when editing their essays. An essay that begins “I sat down in front of my easel, took a deep breath, and picked up my brush” will engage readers much better than general statements…
The essay is TOO personal: Colleges don’t want, or need, students to bare their souls or confess something deeply shameful. A good essay remains sufficiently academic, centered on the life of the mind–not deep confessions of the soul. As I tell my students, “Would you be comfortable with a room full of strange grown-ups reading this? Because that’s what’s going to happen.” A student never has to compromise their emotional wellbeing to write a compelling essay.
It’s a resume, not an essay: Many, many times, students come to me believing they need to state every accomplishment they’ve made in their essay. It’s not true: colleges look at the whole application, including activities, awards & honors, and job experience. The essay’s purpose is to demonstrate a student’s values, personality, point of view, and–of course–writing prowess.
The essay has unfortunate implications: Above all, colleges want to see a mature, reflective student who is self-aware. I’ve often had students come to me with essays that they’ve written too hastily, which convey an unintended poor message. For instance, one student wrote about how his father forced him into a sport, then spoke about how ultimately that sport was “good for him.” But that message didn’t feel authentic–it didn’t seem like what he really believed.
The essay is about their childhood: College essays are coming-of-age stories about a student’s growth into an adult. The primary action should be set in the last three years. Sure, a student can spend a paragraph writing about how their four-year-old self discovered model airplanes–but they should spend the rest of the essay talking about how they got their pilot’s license at age 17.*
The essay tries too hard to teach a lesson: “And that’s how I learned the power of friendship.” “In the end, I knew that persistence was all that mattered.” First of all: is it true that persistence is all that matters? It might not be! The danger of a “lesson” is that it often flattens and simplifies the glorious complexity of the story the student just wrote. Good essays written by thoughtful students don’t need to beat readers over the head with their message. A good rule of thumb is that students can generally cut the last couple of “wrap-up” sentences at the end of their essay–and make the essay better in doing so.